alchemy, oh my!
if being hard on yourself worked, you’d be perfect by now.
Does this sound like you?
“If I were more disciplined, I’d be happy.”
“When I’m that perfect version of me with the promotion and wardrobe and car, I’ll finally feel good enough.”
“If I just wake up earlier and make more art and go to the gym every day and drink green tea instead of coffee and -”
Don’t you deserve better?
Spoiler alert: You can’t berate yourself into the version of you that you idealize. And there’s a reason you set goals and then avoid them, or find it hard to be present with the current version of you.
You don’t have a discipline problem. You have a nervous system problem.
hi, i’m rowan,
and I’m a certified life coach… who can’t stand what’s mostly taught in the industry. I’ve found that most of the time, it’s more about small wins than solving a deeper issue. Goals and plans to achieve them are so important, but if you don’t have a solid foundation, you can’t build a house without it collapsing eventually.
There are two things missing from the way we’re taught to see ourselves:
The self-knowledge to identify what we really want vs. what we’re told we want, and
The safety of self-compassion and self-trust; knowing that we can try and fail and experiment and put things away
When we’re being constantly bombarded with what we “should” be - Pinterest aesthetics, skinnytok, and watching the public ridicule of anyone on the internet who dared to be something different, it can feel impossible to identify what desires are ours, and what’s been projected onto us. If you don’t really want what you’re working toward, of course you won’t be motivated to work on it!
On top of that, when you’re approaching self-change with a feeling of necessity, or a mentality of being unworthy until the goal is met, you can’t build sustainably or stably. Your nervous system wants to feel safe, to be able to change and adapt without judgement.
Alchemy-oh-my isn’t about changing who you are.
It’s about remembering who you are.
this is for you if:
You’ve tried the self-help books and affirmations, and still feel badly about yourself
You take care of everyone but you
You want clarity on who you really are and what you truly want in your life
You can start new habits, but nothing feels fundamentally different or good
You’ve experienced a trauma or major life change and feel disconnected from yourself
You feel like the king of negative self talk
You’re ready to feel self-compassion, self-knowledge, and self-empowerment to your core
let me take you back…
2012, the height of the Tumblr depression and self loathing era. I was a teenager, and above my neck in it. I spent every ounce of energy I had tearing myself apart. I felt constantly at war with myself. There was this part of me that hated me so much, and another part that felt too small to move. And in the middle of it was the empty shell of Rowan, too afraid to decide if I liked a shirt I picked up off a rack. And I felt like everyone in the world had gone through and exited their negative self-talk phase, while I was left behind.
I tried everything under the sun to feel like myself again. I went to therapy, I read the self help books. But none of the resources I found could ever meet me where I was. They would speak to the self-hating part of me like it could be reasoned with. I needed something that started at zero, and could dig deep enough to replace the negative beliefs I had.
There was always a part of me, no matter how small or quiet, that wanted to love me. That was rooting for me. That was the real me all along, everything else was conditioning from outside sources. And as it turned out, the medicine was the same - enough consistent affirmation, that I made the decision to accept and internalize. Once that energy began to move, I was able to slowly but surely build myself back up. It didn’t happen overnight, and the process continues every day. But the moment I decided I was ready to change, and to muster up every little bit of self kindness I had, that self-hating part got quieter and quieter.
the process
(Some of) what we’ll explore
Module 1 is the planning stage. You’ll start to build trust in yourself, get comfortable receiving, and see Rowan’s power of intuition and permission. We’ll look ahead, digging into what you truly want from our time together and what success would look like for you. We’ll anticipate obstacles along the way by gently looking at the patterns you find yourself in and where they might be coming from. We’ll plan for how you’ll care for yourself, mentally and physically, through this whole process. We’ll put pen to paper and set some goals, but also just get you excited about what’s possible!
Module 2 is a time for self examination and exploration, and to meet yourself with patience and compassion. We’ll do a deep dive into the parts of you that hold these strong, negative feelings, as well as those with positive ones. We’ll use energy healing to help heal the wounds your body and mind are carrying. You’ll start to get familiar with self trust and self softness, building the foundation for the rest of the work.
Module 3 is about shedding the old:
outdated self impressions
what you’re carrying that doesn’t belong to you
releasing held emotions like anger, sadness, and grief
ultimately clearing out what doesn’t benefit you
From there, we rebuild. We’ll identify your values, explore how others view you, and dial in on what you want for yourself. We’ll also start giving space to your intuition, noticing where it comes through and how, and get very comfortable with mindful experiences.
Module 4 is about action, experimentation, and permission. Now that we’ve removed what didn’t serve you, we have space for you to fully step into you. We’ll design a new self-concept and define who you want to be, and what you want for yourself. And then, slowly but surely, we’ll begin to build it. As we do this, you’ll undoubtedly find there were things you thought that you wanted, but don't enjoy or align with them once you integrate them - and that’s okay! We’re promoting skills here to identify what feels truly meant for you, the permission to “choose wrong” (even though all feedback is a win), and the resilience to pivot without considering it a personal failure. We’re developing self trust, and self assurance.
Bonus: Closing Ceremony
In our last session, we’ll celebrate how far you’ve come, and how expansive your future is. We’ll talk about how you can continue to celebrate yourself as you move forward, and what tools you can fall back on when you feel shaky. You’ll leave our last session with a sense of pride, security and excitement for the future.
In your first month, feel a rekindling of your connection to yourself.
In three months, notice shifts in how you trust and value yourself, and begin uncovering pieces that you’d forgotten.
In six months, step into a new chapter that feels true to your mind, body, and spirit.
don’t forget spirit!
In addition to the framework above, we’ll be using spiritual tools with the more scientific ones. Your time with Alchemy-Oh-My will also include a combination of:
Reiki energy healing
Guided meditation
Tarot and Oracle card readings
Psychic channeling
And more!
the scoop:
Alchemy Oh, My! is a nine month program, with 90 minute meetings every other week, either in person or virtual. We’ll dive deeply together into your relationship with yourself, exploring what’s keeping you where you are and what you truly want. We’ll work to release stories, emotions, and ideas of self that no longer serve you, and then fill that space with self-knowledge, trust, and assurance.
The goal of our time together is to:
understand the stories that led to a negative relationship with yourself
be able to identify what you truly want, in spite of external noise
have tools to forgive yourself for mistakes
be comfortable experimenting with the facets of you
be ready to embark on your truest path
have cultivated self confidence and compassion
have a renewed sense of self - and peace with the fact that you may yet change
be comfortable being unabashedly yourself
Pricing & Booking
Alchemy, Oh My! 12 sessions package $7,777
Payment plans available.
Experience a warm, judgement-free space to anchor into
Drastically improve your relationship with yourself
Move from fear and negative self talk, into confidence and self-kindness
Each session begins with a guided meditation and energy healing
Receive WhatsApp support for the duration of our time together
Three month Magic Mail Club bonus
Book a connection call below to see if we’re a good fit!